Issue #19 - Beats / Beast
Last night was one of the most interesting nights of my life - I think I might've gone too far with my mental facilities. By the end of it, I felt like a witch who had cast a spell too large. The ramifications on reality were unknown; I chartered previously fogged terrain.
A few random people came over and we recorded a few songs. Pretty impressed, the vibrations in the room were emmanating pure terror. We played some harsh noise, a random 30 year old man came over and drank too much beer, we put 4 people on a couch that could only comfortably fit one, about 6 of us listened to a man rap in utter silence for 3 minutes without break. Good grief!
What can I do other than ignite fire in a gasoline-soaked room? I feel like I have some type of a responsibility to be both the arsonist and the fire-fighter, but obviously these self-imposed limitations help no one.
So, I'm just recording this moment in order to help myself process it a bit, even if the previous paragraphs were a gratuitously abstracted. You'll have to forgive me. Even if its odd, I'm happy this sort of thing can happen regularly. I am happy about this project - it comes to an end now. I collected my thoughts and was able to persevere through this rough period in my life, and my writings and meditations were the raft which carried my across the treacherous sea.
I'm going to start another blog now where I try and be more normal about the types of things that I do and write about. This one was a bit overly experimental for my (future) tastes. The nice thing about writing for oneself is that any sort of vignette or silhouette cast is enough information for me to fill in the body. Will that hold in 30 years? Will my work remain? So, I'm making the choice to move on from this blog, although it treated me well. I'm happy with it, and it will stay online, but for now it will die. Thank you for reading.